Sexuality in your 20s was explorative, new, sometimes confused with a challenge for a young adult to become a men, or a women. If you thought you were comfortable with sexuality in your 20s, it’s most likely because you didn’t know yet.

We have selected 5 reasons that explain pretty well why we are much happier sexually as we age.

 1. Confidence

A young and insecure person could easily use sex, to attract someone and ignore what they really want. As we age, we are more confident and know what we love and want.  

Confident people love their body, they love themselves, their appearance, their own personality, walking naked. Which creates a very pleasant atmosphere and encourages a deep and strong intimacy with their partner. If two people in love are both confident and intimate, they have a very high chance of a life lasting harmony. 

2. Knowing the difference between sex and intimate sex 

You can be very sexual with your partner, yet not intimate. Intimacy is far better than sexuality. Sex is a physical act; Whereas intimacy is a sexual, an emotional, a physical and psychological connection. You are basically in tune with someone when you are intimate. In our 20s we don’t understand this yet. Of course some young people are very mature and totally get it at a fairly young age. However,  the majority is focused on having sex thinking that’s it. Before they get fully comfortable and start understanding there are degrees they can reach, that are much deeper than just sex. Of course the experience gained in the 20s and the understanding of our body and needs, plays a great role in our sexual growth and confidence.  

3.Orgasms 

An interesting topic most people seem to either ignore or fake! Perhaps because men and women were always told that not all women can have orgasms?! we often talk about a woman struggling to reach an orgasm, but men can struggle too. Not only that, they can also fake them. Not as much as women do though.

According to several surveys. American researchers asked 280 people. 180 men and 100 women to complete a sex survey that questioned them about faking an orgasm. 

60% of women and 30% of men answered yes to at least faking it once. The question to why a woman can’t reach an orgasm, is often answered and often has to do with a vaginal or clitoral preference. However, why men might struggle is more intriguing and more often psychological. For example a man can feel disappointment in sexual realities with his partner, compared to his sexual fantasies. Therefore, this same man could ejaculate while masturbating in only a few minutes, yet, be blocked when having sexual intercourse. Certain chemicals can also affect some of his nerves. It could also be a delayed ejaculation. The reason why we mention this,  is because we believe as we age, we have a better awareness and if we are simply open enough to discuss it and find solutions for it, rather than just faking it. We have reached a sexual maturity. 

4. Boundaries

Another one we tend to struggle with in our 20s. We are always going to go back to the confidence bit. If a person is not confident about themself, their partner or even their relationship. They might do things they are not comfortable with just to please their partner, when in reality this isn’t something they would rather do. 

Your partner won’t love or respect you more because you please them in bed. They might actually do if the way you please them turns YOU on too. However,  if they know or sense that you are doing something only to please them, in order not to lose them. I can guarantee you that this relationship is very likely to go south! you will end up feeling sexually objectised and used, which will ultimately lead to tensions. they, on the other hand, they will start feeling as if you were doing them a favour, rather than enjoying your sex life together, your sexuality might become something you start arguing about and  they will also most likely despise you and wanting less intimacy. 

As we age we are more confident to say no, saying no is not enough though. Never forget sexuality is different for each one of us. What works for you might not work for anyone else around you and vice-versa. Learn to communicate about sex freely and openly. If you are not comfortable with something, say it and explain why you do not like it, so your partner is not frustrated. You might come to a compromise, or they might even change your mind,  or you theirs with something new. 

5. An open mind 

With maturity and experience we are more open, more accepting, comfortable to try new things. Most importantly we naturally communicate about sex and intimate needs. We are also open to seek professional help where needed. Whereas, in the early stages of sexuality we think we know it all and seeking help is uncomfortable. 

Sex is a very important component to happiness and health, both mental and physical. Taking care of it and making the most of it is in everyone’s power, as long as you are ready to be open, willing to understand and learn. You will grow and sexually blossom.